I can never decide if I am (a) jealous of, (b) in awe of, (c) wanting to be friends with...C.S., the writer about whom our shared writing prof Tobias Wolff said, "She's the only writer I've ever known--well, besides Jay McInerney--who did it right on the first draft." He got kind of dreamy when he talked about her. Terrible, huh?

Some days I think I hate her, other days I think she should move to L.A. and hang out with me at coffee shops.

I was talking to this guy I know, Merrill.

He was saying he doesn't need to know what time it is, because that's besides the point--he usually doesn't even know what day it is.

This morning I got myself in big trouble b/c I never know what date it is--trouble I knew I would get into for exactly this reason--and I'm kind of clinging to Merrill's problem. Because maybe it's not, okay, well I am the world's flakiest, stupidest, air-headedest person, but maybe it's a writer thing, you know. We're just not trained to know what day and date it is. We live in worlds of our own construction in which it can be ANY DAY WE WANT. Sadly, the rest of the world does not love this about us.

Anyway, thanks Merrill.

Salon.com Books | The inner W.: "Frank, who considers Bush to be 'an intelligent person whose access to his intelligence [is] hampered by his disabilities' (he suspects attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and dyslexia),"

As the sister of two dyslexics, and the daughter, niece and granddaughter of dyslexics, all I have to say, is "Heck yeah." The way GWB parses words and sentences screams (SCREAMS!) of the kind of lexical disorders my siblings and mother face. The word starts out one way and ends up another (subliminable, misunderstimate, etc.) and the moments when he just stops short, those are the moments when his brain freezes up, like a computer, as it runs too many programs (word access, panic, fear, verbalization, etc.) at once. Dude: Retire and get a tutor. Come back when you have a triumphant tale of conquering your disability.

In the interests of keeping the world fully apprised of celebrity doings, several friends and I compiled a list of every famous person we saw at the Fahrenheit 9/11 premiere, plus a few we read about in news reports (thank you kindly ticket guru, note taker Amy, Variety, L.A. Times, Rush and Molloy by way of Salon.com, and, uh, the Academy?). Not including usual suspects like Harvey and Moore.

SCREENING 1 at the Acad Theater

Drew Barrymore (E.T.)
Michael Bay (devil's spawn, friend of Jerry)
Josh Brolin
Larry David
Ellen DeGeneres and anonymous girlfriend
Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman (Danny & Lisa Kudrow [see below] were chatty)
David Duchovny and Bony Tea Leoni
Nora Ephron
Jodie Foster
Troy Garity (Hayden + Fonda =; white guy in Barbershop)
Melissa George (hot Australian chick from Alias)
Sara Gilbert (sister of Melissa, Roseanne)
Tom Hayden (supreme soviet of the people's republic of santa monica)
Peter Horton (late of thirtysomething and Michelle Pfeiffer)
Arianna Huffington (tall!)
Spike Jonze
Lisa Kudrow (with fabulous new brown bob!) and husband
Diane Lane
Norman Lear
Kelly Lynch (tall! but you knew that!)
Camryn Manheim (chatting with Gilbert, see above)
Michael Mann
Leonard Maltin (and what appeared to be a movie critics posse)
Viggo Mortensen (mmm...Viggo...)
Julia Ormond (preggers!)
Sharon and Kelly and Jack Osbourne
Rob Reiner (chatty with Meg at afterparty)
Gary Ross (Seabiscuit director, looks disturbingly like James Brolin)
Meg Ryan (still awesomely cute, but needs to start taking Diane Keaton's jobs)
Tom Shadyac (Bruce Almighty director, has unnatural fondness for bucket hats)
Martin Sheen (Hollywood's POTUS, with krazy hair)
John Singleton (sitting down in front)
LeeLee Sobieski (more with the tall!)
Aaron Sorkin (Oh, Aaron. Aaron, Aaron, Aaron--what are we going to do with you?)
Gregory Smith (Ephram Brown on Everwood, slunk into the afterparty)
Kevin Smith (dude!)
Marisa Tomei (foxy!)
Mark Wahlberg (Mark, your mother called. She wants you to sit up straight.)
Ed Zwick (Once & Again, Legends of the Fall director)
& a guy who looked suspiciously like Leo's dad, George

SCREENING 2 at Laemelle's (sp?) across the street

Jessica Alba (foxy!)
Wes Anderson (director, Rushmore)
Jack Black (It must be nice being Jack Black--you never have to wash your hair.)
Leonardo DiCaprio (See above, re Jack Black)
Billy Crystal
Orlando Jones (apparently with an entourage far out of proportion to his actual fame)
Ashton Kutcher
Bill Maher (with an iman/beverly johnson-lookin' chick)
Demi Moore (allegedly with Kabbalah dude in tow)
Catherine O'Hara
Matthew Perry
Chris Rock (signed autograph for a fan, just in case you judge celeb decency by that kind of thing)
Sharon Stone
Ben Stiller & Christine Taylor
Patrick Whitesell (Matt & Ben's frighteningly-white-toothed agent)

In the immortal words of my senior-year English prof, "You look like you've been in a fight with some cats."

i made three new friendsters today. it was exciting.

I think I'm addicted to my boyfriend. Seriously. I've never done this before and I'm not very skilled at maintaining a safe distance while still being intimate and involved and stuff. You know how in Two Weeks Notice Hugh Grant's all, "I can't make a decision without finding out your opinion first!" I'm possibly getting like that, and I don't even need to know what he thinks, I just really want to review everything that's going on with me with him. And like, I want to quit my job and follow him around. Everywhere. All the time. "Don't mind me. I'll be over here reading a magazine." Seriously, we wouldn't have to talk, I would just want to go with him when he gets a haircut or buys new shoelaces, and just, like, be there to drive off sketchy single mothers who are trying to hit on him.

Also, I can't figure out if L.R. is pregnant or not and it's driving me crazy!

Jon Stewart's ('84) Commencement Address

bantam-wit

I'm sicking of people lying and saying they love reading the Corrections section of the New York Times.

Fametracker :: The Fame Audit :: Hugh Jackman: "(Incidentally, Ashley Judd? Yeah. The goodwill from Ruby In Paradise has just about dried up, and it's time to go get a TV show where you play a crusading defense attorney or something, because all you're doing now is bringing everybody else down with you.) "

Wrod.

Salon.com Life | I want to write

I have had it up to here with people who don't know how to use their computers. Get onboard already! It's been 25 years. They're here, they're queer, get used to it! GAAHH!

i miss lauryn hill. come back lauryn hill.

Companies that I heart: In 'n' Out, Kiehl's, Southwest Airlines, ING Direct and--damn, there was another one. I heart you, too, one that I forgot.

Who's a Gmail beta tester? ME! I am! Lalalala!

Sony Pictures Television - JEOPARDY!

My cheeseball Jeopardy! promo. Mock and laugh. It's okay. :)

Oscars 2004 - Nosebleed Report...by me!

People should not be rigid anti-creative bitches.

Got my "Me & Alex Trebek" picture today. Now I'm all "I'm a big stupid Jeopardy! loser" mopey again. It's ridiculous, but still painful. Regret is a sickening feeling.