Friday, August 25, 2006

Brand-new Guilty Pleasures is posted. All the TV ones are mine, except VM, but I'm partial to that one as well, since I contributed to its creation with the talky-talk. Also, Dr. Anna Graham talked to Damon Lindelof (crush!) last night, and should have some shiny new stuff on Lost in Monday's chat con Korbi. (Kristin was supposed to do it, but she's got a very special other engagement so she'll be OOTO and we get gorgeous Korbi instead!)

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Okay, here's the deal, world. You can't IM me specifically to ask "Are you wearing makeup today?" and receive an affirmative answer and then not say, "You look great." It's just not done. I'm fucking sensitive!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

I'm getting more and more certain that Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive is Rachel McAdams. Does anybody know of a discussion forum where I can debate this in more detail? And also, if it is RA, I would very much like to commend Esquire on its (continually) excellent taste. I love that magazine so much.
The most important thing that happened this week is Joss posting his 25 fave TV characters of all time. I'm mortified that Finola Hughes is involved in any way. I'm refusing to make a list, but Sawyer is on it.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Two of these Defamer PrivacyWatch sightings are from me. Sadly, neither of them is the Angelina Jolie one.
I hate Wikipedia now

As some of you know, I used to live and breathe Wikipedia. Well, at some point they tipped, and on the other side, they've become insufferably self-important over there. The ongoing deletion/cruft-smashing rampage is the perfect way to reverse all the momentum they had going and discourage users of all stripes from thinking different. Never thought I'd see the day when Wikipedia became stuck up. *sigh*
Just wanted to give a shoutout/link to the McVille interview with Ryan Rumsey, who is one of web producers here at E! Online, an actor emeritus and truly one of the awesomest guys I know. Congrats Ry. :)
Dan Futterman WTF?!

First, Dan Futterman plays the Related tool who dumps Kiele Sanchez. THEN, Dan Futterman, who is the definition of what Deb and I used to call a Flacid Boy, gets the role of Daniel Pearl opposite Angelina Jolie. This infuriates me. I don't think he's a good actor, I don't think he's remotely attractive, I can't understand why either of those women would have anything to do with him, and most of all, I can't believe they're having that shrimpy ineffectual tool playing Daniel Pearl, whose death I took very very hard, and whom I still respect and like immensely. Dan Futterman, you're totally on notice.

In other, less irate news, I got my very own Lost Experience glyph late Friday night. Read the real-time drama, and see the official Speaker nod.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

If I had a personal assistant as well as a totally different personality, one of my assistant's jobs would be to pick the potatoes out of my vegetarian chili. And then I would yell at her when she messed up, just so I could pretend I was a supervillain and speak the immortal supervillain line, "Do I have to everything myself?!" [Shakes fist at sky.]
Whee! It's live! My first, and ideally not last, guide to what's good on TV over the next two weeks is up at E! Online: Guilty Pleasures. Check it. (In particular, the bits about K-Fed, SYTYCD, Prison Break and a little Website I like to call Ho.Mo. for short.)

Meanwhile, if you have yet to enjoy the wit and wisdom of my alter ego Dr. Anna Graham, you can find most of the chat Lost Experience reports here, along with a bit of Comic-Con goodness. For some reason Google doesn't index the E! Online message boards, so my original Klingon County Fair report, which Speaker called, oh yes, "awesome" is here. And I guess technically Speaker called me awesome, but let's not quibble, you know? :)

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

From the Slush Pile

I pitched this to EOL's Penalty Box, and it was rejected. It's about off-topic by about a fortnight, but whatever. Enjoy:

The Foul: Yes, we know we need a hobby if we have nothing better to do than harangue 156-years-dead sculptresses, but Madame Marie Tussaud has got some splainin' to do. Late last week the New York outlet of the waxy freak show unveiled Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt snoozing away in her manger under the watchful plastic eyes of parents Brad and Angelina. That's all par for the exploitative course, but where the heck are the other two little Jolie-Pitts? Maddox, for one, has more charisma in his little finger than most Us Weekly cover girls have their whole emaciated bodies. Zahara seems a little moody--we expect she's well on her way to penning a tell-all memoir (as soon as she learns her A-B-Cs), but she's got class and attitude to spare. Madame Tussaud's is sending the message, loud and clear, that Angie's adopted kids aren't as legitimate or as important as the genetically blessed fruit of her and Brad's loins. It's an insult to adoptive families everywhere and undermines the couple's entirely creditable efforts on behalf of refugee orphans.

The Fix: We'll happily commend Tussaud's for donating $1 to UNICEF for each photo taken of the Chosen One, but they need to up the ante. Add wax renditions of Mad and Z post-hasty, and increase the charitable contribution to $3, a buck for each kid. If you're gonna make bank off somebody else's munchkins, it's best not to be stingy about sharing the profits with helpless wide-eyed foundlings from developing countries. Come on, Madame: Won't somebody think of the children?
One of these Defamer PrivacyWatch sightings is from me, but I'm not telling you which. BTW, watch this space for a link to my very first (and highly successful, according to my editor) foray into Guilty Pleasures. Link coming tomorrow. Or possibly Friday. I don't really do calendars. :)

Monday, August 07, 2006

If you haven't seen it yet, the awesome Veronica Mars promo from Comic-Con is now on YouTube. It looks like it was camcordered straight from the screens at the Con, so the quality is a smidge iffy, but overall it gets the message across. Seriously, give three minutes and seventeen seconds of your life to Veronica Mars, and she'll give you the world. Watch it. Now.
Just downloaded clips from Step Up and can't wait for it to be Friday. I'm intensely devoted to dance movies. Dancing itself I can take or leave, but dance movies? Are my passion. No matter how bad, or no matter how pretentious, I'm there: You Got Served, Take the Lead, Dirty Dancing, Flashdance, Footloose, Center Stage, Strictly Ballroom, The Tango Lesson, Save the Last Dance. Dance movies are my crack. Or at least my marijuana.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Sawyer Nicknames for New Lost Characters

As I'm sure you've all heard, Lost has added three new castmembers: Rodrigo Santoro, Elizabeth Mitchell and, in the best casting decision of ever, Kiele Sanchez. Naturally, the Sawyer nickname lottery begins now. RS hasn't inspired anything yet, but I think Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell) is a Sparkles or a Twinkletoes. When I see EM in photographs, somehow she makes me think of glitter and sprinkles and ballet dancers. Not sure what her character's going to be like, but that's the vibe I'm getting at the moment. And as for Kiele Sanchez:

[Nikki, if that is in fact her character's name, approaches Sawyer.]

Sawyer: Hey there, French Fry.
Nikki: Why do you call me that anyway?
Sawyer: Because you're golden brown...like a French fry.
Nikki: I hate you.
Sawyer: Yeah, I get that a lot. Now, what can I do you for?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

i would like a slower computer please
possibly powered by snails and caterpillars
just harness them up to the computer's drivetrain
and let 'er rip
because this computer that i have?
is much too fast

Also, you know what's sinfully delicious? Eating grapes, one by one, with the refrigerator door open. I love letting all the cold air out of the fridge. I don't know why it feels so fulfillingly dirty, but it's amazingly to stand in my kitchen and bask in fridge light and cool fridge air and stare at all the condiment bottles on the door. If nothing else, there's a pleasant sadistic element to it. My fridge doors take one-two-three tugs to open, the padding is peeling off the handles, something green died in the icemaker, and the damn light socket in the fridgewon't accept flourescent (sp?) bulbs, forcing me to use environmentally incorrect incadescent if I want to see my soy milk. So, while it's environmentally incorrect to leave the fridge door open, that bitch totally started it!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

A year and some months later: I'm back.

Look for my guilty pleasures posts soon. In the meantime, I am obsessed with HollywoodMomentum.com. Where have you been all my life, little zine?! I'm writing a proper review up for GP, but it'll probably get rejected--to be posted here, natch.

Also pitched myself a hilarious New Yorker piece this morning: Parents Gritty Reality Television Council's standards for prime-time broadcasts. 1. All demons and vampires on supernatural WB shows must be replaced with child molesters and rapists. (etc.) Hilarity ensues. Going to ask Pretty Tall Improv Girl to read and comment, even though of course my greatest fear is not being effortlessly perfect the first time out at everything I do. Healthy, I know.